Something that I have to do

I think for the past month now every night when I go to bed I say this, "I'll start tomorrow." It is so hard to do!!! I mean it!!! It is so hard. I can't wake up early, I can't exercise, I can't eat at the same time everyday, I can't prick my finger and take my shots all day long. What is even harder is just handing it over to God and saying ok I can't do this. I want so badly to do it on my own. I don't want to feel defeated. UGH!!!! Life blows sometimes...