So.....

Well of course i couldn't sleep so I'm writing on here again. I read through a lot of my blogs, which i like to do sometimes, just to remember. I learn a lot of things too when I do this. This is what I learned this time...

Life is full of so many surprises. Good, bad, ugly. Surprises that sometimes have no resolutions. Surprises that God springs on us without hesitation. Not because we have been bad or good but because its all part of it. It's part of life. The hiccups. God's way of giving us a surprise to let us know we are still breathing. A trip or a fall to let us know that we can still be hurt. A text message that says, "you're beautiful" to remember that we are loved. A disease to figure out what your purpose on this earth is. Life is full of so many surprises. That saying has never rang more true to me.

I also learned that no matter how down I am and no matter how defeated i have been I have always been able to get up. I have always been able to hold onto something tight enough that i don't lose my grip. One of my brothers friends committed suicide last week and when my mom told me about it, my heart hurt. My heart hurt to think of how lost, low, and alone he must have felt to end his own life. I know how bad i have felt at times and to think that he was probably a million times worse it made me literally hurt for him. I can't even tell you how many hours i have spent trying to figure out life, faith, and what the hell i'm supposed to be doing at times. The only thing I can come up with everytime is to love. To love God the best way you know how, and to love others the best way you can. Love yourself when you don't really feel like you deserve it. Love the things you have and love that you don't have everything you want but you have everything you need. Simply love.

There is also the saying, "laughter is the best medicine." I am such a firm believer in this. I laugh a lot and I don't think it's enough. I love it when little things make me smile and giggle to myself. For example when I see two ducks fighting in the pond. end of story. that just makes me giggle. Sometimes i just break out in a little dance. no one is around to see me or anything but it makes me laugh. sometimes i can write some really funny text messages that make me laugh to myself. sometimes out of the blue i'll do a kung fu move that makes me laugh. Sometimes i say a cuss word like I'm really mad for no reason at all, but I'm not really mad at anything. That really makes me giggle. Stuff like that is what makes life worth living, you know? I'm actually laughing right now. For some reason squirrels really make me laugh too. just watching them and imagining what they are thinking, like what plan they are scheming up. I always think they are scheming something up in their tiny little brains. I think it is because the hold their hands together really close to their mouths like they are planning something really risky. All I know is i keep a close watch whenever i'm near one!!

I hope everyone is having a great week so far!!!