Low Points

I am sitting here writing this through swollen teary eyes, desperately pleading and praying to God to just make it better. If not forever at least for now. I just really wonder to myself how many times can one person be broken before they can never be put back together again? The pain inside me has grown into something that i can no longer bare. Physically, emotionally, mentally, there is no escaping it and I feel like I'm drowning gasping for air. Reaching for some surface and at times I feel it and it is the best damn air imaginable. Just when I get a taste, a thought of maybe things will be ok a wave comes and knocks me down again. I know that I am so unbelievably lucky to have the support that i get day in and day out. That is what keeps me swimming, but I'm tired. I'm treading water here with no sign of a shore. I'm breathing in deep with no oxygen.