Obviously

So, as you can tell I have not had that great of a week. just when I can feel the warmth of the sun again the clouds seem to cover it up. I wasn't sure if I was even gonna write tonight cause I'm feeling pretty bad. I'm feeling bad in pretty much every way. Physically I want to kill my body. Literally I'm done with it. I'm gonna be honest here and go ahead and say that this past week I have thought about just quiting, giving up, throwing in the towel and bow out gracefully. I guess that is why this week has been so hard because my body is done, it does not want to play this game of life anymore. My heart and soul have been pushed down into the mud and walked all over, but each time they get up. Each time they find something worth getting up for. It really amazes me what I can be put through and my heart as broken as it is, keeps beating. I had a chat with God earlier and I said, "I know that you have great plans for me, and I know that this is something that i have to go through to do these great things. I know that in order for me to do wonderful things this pain is gonna hurt, but please just let me breathe. Just a few moments just let me breathe." I guess I also want to ask of anyone that reads this if you are religious or not just pray for me. Just pray that I can breathe for just a short time. I know that although my heart has been pushed in the mud, bruised and even broken a little, it's a fighter it just needs a little help getting started once again after a pretty hard fall...