Funny Stuff!!!

I had to put this on here for everyone to read because it made me laugh so hard!!! Mainly because i could see myself writing something like this at least once a month!!!!



This is an actual letter from an Austin woman, sent to American
company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She
really
gets rolling after the first paragraph... This letter was named PC
Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning
letter....

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20
years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak
Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback
riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up
and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to
be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart
enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I
can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a

little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered
from the 'curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month
is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces
violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body
will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call
'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills'. Isn't the human body amazing?


As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt
seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your
customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know
about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense

mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely
realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my
friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's
testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he
thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is
just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me

to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of
cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I
opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing,

were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f**king kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your
tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness -- actual smiling,
laughing, happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything

mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?
FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never
be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on
Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't
march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a
sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to
slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to
say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or
'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have
chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will
certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
brand of condescending bullsh*t. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always....

Best,

Wendi Aarons

Austin , TX