GAAAHHHHH!!

I'm so bad about writing on here. i don't know why! i think about it everyday but then always end up doing something else completely pointless!  My foot is getting better. i went to the doctor yesterday and the he told me that i was doing really great! so that was really encouraging. he said though that he was gonna put me in a cast soon, which sucks but i decided i'm gonna get a green one and decorate it like a christmas tree. pretty pumped about that. the wheels have already started turning on what i want on it. maybe i could paint my toenails like little presents! hahah!

In a perfect world.

These last couple of days have sucked a little more than the other ones recently. it just seems like i am in this constant low blood sugar, or trip to the bathroom, or at a scream fest for little kids. I have no escape. I have no where to go to just be alone, or be with people my age. I can't even go on a walk because of my stupid ankle and it is just too much for me right now. It doesn't help that it is that time of the month for me and i snap at the smallest of things. In a perfect world, everything would just be a little bit easier.  Everything would just go away.

Sick Day

I'm calling in sick today.  I'm just gonna lay in bed and watch movies =)

Ahhh, Sleep!

I slept through the night! This may be or should be a regular occurrence for most but not for me.  It is very rare that I sleep through the night. It has been that way for a long time too. Ten years to be exact.  Well, if I want to be exact it has been ten years, six months and three days since i started showing signs of having diabetes.  Waking up in the middle of the night to drink a bottle of water and go pee every hour. It was like clock work too. Every hour on the dot.  It has been that way ever since. Not to that extreme as much but it is usually two to three times a night.  All that changed about two weeks ago though and instead of waking up to down some water and try to make it to the bathroom, I was waking up to cold sweats, shaking, and the uncontrollable urge to eat anything I could. Low Blood Sugars! It is like a totally different life right now.  It is like one extreme to another and trying to find the balance is exhausting.  So, when i woke up at 7 this morning, I was a little shocked to see that it was 7.  It was like something in me calmed down a little bit. Something said, "you are gonna make it through this." And as i picked up my crutches and headed to breakfast a tiny little smile of ease. A small smile of relief came across my face.

Have a Great Day!!

Obsession

So, i have discovered that i have an obsessive personality at times.  I may have a little bit of OCD but i don't think it is a bad thing.  Like for instance i have a log book that i write all my blood sugars down in and how many carbs i ate at meals and stuff like that. I have to write with the same pen every time i write in it.  It is one of  those black pens with the fine point. I love these pens. I'm not saying that any other pen would not work but i started with this particular pen so no other one is good enough. I actually had to write something in it with a different pen the other day and not only was it not as good of a pen but it was blue ink. It still bothers me. I try not to think about it though. Does that make me a total freak? I think it does a little bit. On some level?

I also have found this new obsession with dancing, which is ironic because i doubt that i will be doing any of that anytime soon. I seriously though want to be a hip hop dancer.So You Think You Can Dance is one of my favorite shows! i could watch clips of these people dancing all day long!  I have expressed this desire before but i don't think anyone takes me seriously. Which i can understand because i have never taking one single dance class in my life. Well, I take that back. I took a jazz class my first semester in college. I failed it. Only because it was at 8 in the morning and i just couldn't make myself get there. So, once this ankle is all better I'm for real gonna become a dancer. Then maybe i can go on one of oprah's defying all odds shows! it's worth a try!

Have a great day!

Tiny Bats

My finger tips look like they have been beaten with tiny little bats! They have these tiny little bruises all over them. I have been having A LOT of low blood sugars so I have literally been taking my blood sugars like ten times a day. That is ten finger pricks a day. That is on average one finger prick, one bruise, one tiny little bat beating on each finger a day. Now, i have gotten kind of used to it but I hit one finger the other day and thought my knees were gonna buckle!!! It's rare that happens though.

The Vols won yesterday and they actually looked good doing it! Go Vols! Now the Colts need to win today!