Tomorrow will be better

SO first of all I am listening to the sickest song ever. That's right I said it, "sick." I'm bringing the word back. If it awesome, it is no longer called "cool." It's "sick", So I had an awful day yesterday. I've actually not had that great of a week. Low blood sugars in the middle of the night, high ones all day long, and the overwhelming fear that i'm just not gonna be able to do this. I get so frustrated with myself when I eat something i'm not supposed to and then i get mad at myself for being so hard on myself and then when it comes down to it i end up feeling fat and forget to take a shot for what i ate that I wasn't supposed to eat. Am I freaking loco? Sometimes I really think that I am crazy. At least that is what all my previous boyfriends have said. I cried a lot yesterday and I felt that I just couldn't do it. I wanted to go back to Nashville and do the easy yet harmful thing to my body. So umm I was feeling down and out. I was texting my mom all of what i was feeling. This was her reply, "That is BULL SHIT. You can do this. Tomorrow will be better." First of all I was not one hundred percent ok with her attitude there. I was crying and laughing in the same, because if you know my mother she is not one for the tough love approach. I can remember being five and laughing at her when she tried to spank me. It kind of made me feel better in a way. So thanks mom for that. Ugh!! This is definitely a hard road. I can't tell you how many times a day I just want to say, "Screw you Diabetes!!" When I say It I raise my fist in the air too, with a mean look on my face!