Trees with Purple Leaves

The title of this blog has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm gonna write about. I just thought it was interesting. I'm having a really good day. Mainly because I slept until 10, so I've only been up for two hours. A lot could go wrong in two hours though, and nothing has so far. I find myself wondering a lot on life's little lessons. I wish that I knew the wisdom of the world. I wish that I had my whole life figured out. Well at least i used to want that. I thought about it and if i had my whole life figured out then it wouldn't be fun. I mean not knowing where you will be in a year, or why the cute guy at the computer lab didn't ask me out is fun, right? My life's frustrations get me down sometimes, that is for sure. I hate wondering why my blood sugar is so out of whack when I tried my very best to make it just OK. I hate being scared to tell a boy that i have juvenile diabetes because of what he might think. I hate that for so long I felt sick, tired, and alone. I hate that I wasted so much of "the good years" in my life. I hate that no matter what time of day it is, no matter where I am, or who I'm with there is one thing on my mind at that is diabetes. But you know what? Here is what I love... I love the fact that I get a second chance at this. I love that i get to hear my little sister laugh all the time. I love the feeling of when that guy in the computer lab actually asks me out. I love that my family and friends listen to me bitch about this day in and day out and are still there for me. I love that I'm gonna be in Chicago soon! I love that,yes,life and diabetes gets me down sometimes,but finally I have this very tiny tiny little voice inside me that says i can do this, instead of one that says give up. Although that tiny little voice is still very small and sometimes hard to hear, I know it's there.